Gordon in the morning: Alleged victim support

Gordon pulls off something of a journalistic coup this morning, taking a story about an alleged serious crime and somehow ending up with the image of a dog shitting on Robbie Williams' head.

Gordon claims that - being mates - after hearing about the business outside her house earlier this week, Williams was straight on the phone to Joss Stone to invite her over in order to cheer her up.

Given that there was a whole lot of space to pad out, and even if News International lawyers might be a bit shaky on privacy law they're at least sharp on speculation about cases currently before the courts, Gordon was left trying to imagine how Robbie Williams might go about cheering up Joss Stone:

He is still very protective of her and no doubt did his Alan Partridge impressions in a bid to get a smirk out of her.

Er, no doubt. Let's hope he didn't do the bit where Alan is chased through a rural landscape by the mentalist, though.

Still, you can't entirely take away the sting of a tough week just by pretending to be Steve Coogan. What other comic gems does Robbie have in his arsenal, Gordon?

Resting his dogs on his head is another of his trademark gags.

I'm not entirely sure I can even picture what that might mean. Obviously, I can picture it, but not in any way that makes me go "oh, that's a gag."

Gordon, clearly, also realises that it's an act which might need something:

But that's only funny if one follows through, surely?

Thus we go from true crime to the idea of dog crap sliding down Robbie Williams' face. Surely the Pulitzer Committee are watching?