Gordon in the morning: The Bionic Bono

Gordon gets himself in the mood for Glastonbury by fawning a bit over Bono:

U2 will introduce "BONO 2.0" to 170,000 punters when they headline Glastonbury on Friday.

The band were forced to pull out of the festival last year when the star was rushed to hospital in Munich for surgery on his spine.

But now they'll play the Pyramid Stage with a bionic frontman.

Bono might be the Six Million Dollar Frontman, but you can bet every one of those dollars will be channeled through a low-tax regime.

It's his new back, you see:

When talking about his rebuilt back - he slipped a disc last May during tour rehearsals - Bono has also been joking about his "vorsprung durch technik" and calling himself "Robo-Bono".

Yes, yes, I know Gordon has just written a line which makes no grammatical sense, but he's not very certain when he's writing in one language, so we should let it go.

U2 are apparently nervous about ruining this year's Glastonbury ("headlining the Pyramid stage"):

Sticksman LARRY MULLEN JR admitted this week: "We're out of our comfort zone and that's important for us.

"Despite everything we have something to prove. It's about the songs.

"Is it comfortable? Not necessarily. But we're getting back to our roots."

Sticksman? Really?

This lack of comfort is down to having to play on a stage that doesn't have a sixty squillion pound set on it. Yikes, eh, Larry - you might have to rely on the music rather than the spectacle.

Gordon also takes the time to ruin Beyonce's surprises:

Beyonce's been rehearsing KINGS OF LEON's Sex On Fire and QUEEN's Bohemian Rhapsody ahead of her slot on Sunday.

She's a very brave woman taking on that FREDDIE MERCURY anthem...

Brave? Bohemian Rhapsody has been covered by everybody from Fuzzbox to The Kings Singers. In fact...

It's even been done by machines. Perhaps Bono might like to see what a real robo-musician looks like?