Gordon in the morning: In the teeth of common sense

Nicola Roberts has had her teeth fixed. Strangely, this seems to be unacceptable cosmetic surgery for Gordon, who has decided to poke fun at her:

NICOLA ROBERTS could always join The Beano if her singing career goes up the spout.

I'm not sure how a real person would "join" a comic, even if she had teeth.

Did I say it was Gordon who was having a go? Oh, no, let me correct that:

Her GIRLS ALOUD bandmates have poked fun at her new teeth by nicknaming her Gnashers.

Yes, it's "the rest of Girls Aloud" who are doing the laughing. Because, you know, it'd be unseemly for a man in his 30s pointing and giggling at a younger girl who had worries about her appearance.

Still, it's better than the dull story about one of Kasabian giving a boxer an England shirt, which appears to be little more than free advertising for Umbro.