Gordon in the morning: Mr Gallagher buys an iPad

In an attempt to try and find a story every day between now and the release of the album, Gordon Smart reveals Noel Gallagher has bought an iPad.

Talking about embracing t'internet, he said of his new iPad: "I'm now forced to use words and terms I never even knew existed like 'pop up server' and 'RAM' and f****** 'user' this and 'password' that. I've never had to come up with AND REMEMBER so many passwords!

"It's like some super spy s*** in WW2, and who decided where to put all the b****** letters on the keypad? Nonsense."

Yes, Noel, this new-fangled QWERTY keyboard that's come in in the last 138 years - how is anyone supposed to get to grips with that?

On the bright side, it's heartening to discover that Noel Gallagher has moved on from trying to be Paul McCartney onto trying to be Michael McIntyre. I can't wait for the toaster jokes.

Doubtless Smart has run this because his ultimate boss was also pulling the 'perfectly capable man pretending to be old and doddery and not really getting to grips with this modern world' schtick earlier this week.