Gordon in the morning: GaGa shock tank running on empty

Oh, Gordon tries his hardest with the latest Lady GaGa photos, but like the rest of us, he's trying to stifle a yawn:

GRUESOME Lady Gaga sports S&M headwear in her latest kinky video.

Oh, S&M again? That's nice dear.

The provocative chart-topper is seen wearing a number of different gags in the arty black and white footage

How terribly shocking. You've certainly shifted our perceptions of... well, whatever it was you were trying to shift. Well done, Lady.

Her striking features are also concealed entirely under a series of masks.

Masks? That must have been so much fun. Do pass the ketchup, dear.

One is made of latex with just small holes perforated in it to allow breathing.

Is there much more of this?

Another has nails protruding from it.

Sorry, I was just checking emails... did you say nails? Fancy.

She's also seen clutching a cigarette while wearing a gas mask.

That reminds me - did anyone else know that there's a fanpage for one-note Grumbleweeds character Wilf 'Gasmask' Grimshaw on Facebook?

Apparently all this is to celebrate her fans, and not a desperate attempt to try and wring a little more ho-hum surprise out of an act which relies more and more on rummaging in the bargain bin of a backstreet sex shop in the hope that nobody else has ever worn fetish clothing.

How do you feel about the fans, GaGa?

"They write the history of this kingdom and I am their devoted jester."

Jesters? Those were the ones who tried to disguise the thinness of their act by wearing stupid clothes and waving meat products on sticks, weren't they?