Let's leave Gordon's desk for a while, and look instead over at the Sun's health pages. They have news about a public education campaign:
THE Bee Gees hit Stayin' Alive is at the heart of a new campaign launched today — to save the lives of cardiac arrest victims.
It says that pumping the chest at between 110 and 120 beats per minute — the same rate as the 1978 hit — is more effective than a poor breath resuscitation attempt.
The charity is launching the TV campaign, backed by the UK Resuscitation Council, aiming to give people confidence to use the CPR technique.
Actor and former soccer ace Vinnie Jones will feature in the "Hard And Fast" ads showing people the proper way to do chest compressions in 40 seconds.
No word on what you should do when you reach the middle eight.
In other "news", Lee 'elpehants are dying' Ryan had been due to go into the Big Brother house but has apparently been dumped after asking for too much money.
It's a pity for Ryan - looking at the rest of the rumoured line-up (the other one from Pineapple Dance Studios; someone from The Only Way Is Essex; a couple of people who've actually appeared on terrestrial television some years back) it might have been the first time he'd have been the most famous person in a room.
He's going to be replaced by Romeo, who was one of the So Solid Crew but presumably has been selected on the strength of his more recent work, as a best man in Don't Tell The Bride.