Rather than close the Olympics, it looks like they're planning to stun it with a carjack, drag it out to the marshes and finish it off

The Spice Girls singing on top of what-will-by-law-be-described-as-iconic-black-taxis?

You've got to hope this is a piece of misdirection.

I suppose if the Opening Ceremony was designed to convince the world and the nation that we can do surprising and amazing events without falling back on lazy cliche and the obvious, well-worn, and clapped out, the Closing Ceremony is intended to unwind that belief and return us to the sort of chumps who stick Mel B on the top of a Hackney Carriage and think it's a show. While they're dismantling the pop-up Water Polo venue, they're going to take down the temporary sense of national pride, then.