Friday, September 07, 2012

They still do the MTV VMAs

It's less a surprise that they still do the VMAs, as that there's an MTV any more. Do they even show pop videos on the channel any more? Aren't the categories impossible to judge because you'd ask an MTV viewer what they think of a video, and they'll just go "who... is... video... is... it... Snooki's... baby?"

Here, in case you're wondering, is the "results":

Best Pop Video
One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful” – WINNER!
Fun. feat. Janelle Monae, “We Are Young”
Rihanna, “We Found Love”
Justin Bieber, “Boyfriend”
Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa, “Payphone”

Best Male Video
Justin Bieber, “Boyfriend”
Frank Ocean, “Swim Good”
Drake feat. Rihanna, “Take Care”
Chris Brown, “Turn Up the Music” – WINNER!
Usher, “Climax”

Best Hip-Hop Video
Childish Gambino, “Heartbeat”
Drake feat. Lil Wayne, “HYFR” – WINNER!
Kanye West feat. Pusha T, Big Sean & 2 Chainz, “Mercy”
Watch the Throne, “Paris”
Nicki Minaj feat. 2 Chainz, “Beez in the Trap”

Best Female Video
Rihanna, “We Found Love”
Katy Perry, “Part of Me”
Beyoncé, “Love on Top”
Nicki Minaj, “Starships” – WINNER!
Selena Gomez & The Scene, “Love You Like a Love Song”

Best Rock Video
Coldplay, “Paradise” – WINNER!
The Black Keys, “Lonely Boy”
Linkin Park, “BURN IT DOWN”
Jack White, “Sixteen Saltines”
Imagine Dragons, “It’s Time”

Best New Artist
Fun. feat. Janelle Monae, “We Are Young”
Carly Rae Jepsen, “Call Me Maybe”
Frank Ocean, “Swim Good”
One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful” – WINNER!
The Wanted, “Glad You Came”

Video of the Year
Katy Perry, “Wide Awake”
Gotye, “Somebody That I Used To Know”
Rihanna, “We Found Love” – WINNER!
Drake feat. Rihanna, “Take Care”
M.I.A., “Bad Girls”

Best Electronic Dance Music Video
Duck Sauce, “Big Bad Wolf”
Calvin Harris, “Feel So Close” – WINNER!
Skrillex, “First of the Year (Equinox)”
Martin Solveig, “The Night Out”
Avicii, “Le7els”

Best Video With a Message
Demi Lovato, “Skyscraper” – WINNER!
Rise Against, “Ballad of Hollis Brown”
Kelly Clarkson, “Dark Side”
Gym Class Heroes, “The Fighter”
K’Naan feat. Nelly Furtado, “Is Anybody Out There?”
Lil Wayne, “How to Love”piness,” Kid Cudi (Steve Aoki remix) (“Project X”)
You might not be familiar with Skyscraper, the song with the messageiest message of the year. Here's the chorus:
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I'm made of glass
Like I'm made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper
In case you're having trouble working out the message for which this song won, it was an email sent from a record label going "that Katy Perry piss-weak firework song is being eaten up like a cinnamon bagel; does anyone else have any vaguely uplifting songs that would be laughed out the Redemption Hymnal?"

You'll notice One Direction picked up prizes, even beating off Carly Rae Jespen - that's kind of the equivalent of lead beating oxygen in the best gas awards.

What was the highlight of the Video Music Awards? Apparently someone showing a trailer for a movie. The whole thing is now so ill-judged attendees got a goodybag. It was just the bag, with two eyeholes, so they could slip out of the venue without being identified.


1 comment:

Peter D said...

I love you simon.

"In case you're having trouble working out the message for which this song won, it was an email sent from a record label going "that Katy Perry piss-weak firework song is being eaten up like a cinnamon bagel; does anyone else have any vaguely uplifting songs that would be laughed out the Redemption Hymnal?""

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