The 2012 inch remix: March

Getting Englebert Humperdinck to represent the UK at Eurovision? What could possibly go wrong?

You'd have thought Liverpudlians, of all people, would know not to expect the Las to turn up.

Ugly headphone makers Beats bought unloved music website MOG. Warner Brothers came up with a plan to allow people to visit shops to have DVDs ripped for them while Sony belatedly knocked together a digital strategy. Unfortunately, that was too late to stop Michael Jackson's back catalogue being hacked from their servers.

The story of how Gordon Smart came to claim Sarah Harding loved physics was a thing of joy and beauty; the bullying of Tulisa into apologising for being violated was less so.

Royalty agency ASCAP gives a terrible deal to smaller artists.

Jet split while Easy reformed. Had you been missing them? Josh Homme started a fight to stop Kyuss reforming and, er, undermining the name.

Boston tried to ban the mosh pit and South Korea banned children from Lady GaGa.

The NME elected Kasabian kings of the world but David Cameron prefers Thin Lizzy.

ViaGoGo carefully explained why their tout-like busines wasn't actually touting and Alex James tried to explain why the failure of Alex James' Cheesfest wasn't really down to him.

Miley Cyrus killed off God, for once and for all. God fought back by having his tiresome cheerleaders at the Westboro Baptist Church take on Radiohead.

[Part of the 2012 inch remix]