Eminem is, it appears, helping us out:
EMINEM is doing the British music industry another favour 13 years after boosting DIDO’s career by sampling her track Thank You on his controversial single Stan.That was a favour? We're still picking up the pieces from that one.
The American rapper has now sampled young Bristolian singer JAMIE N COMMONS for the chorus of an upcoming new single of his.Heh heh, very funny, Gordon.
The blues-influenced singer will be hoping that his career goes the same way as Dido’s did.
Oh, hang on, you're not joking, are you?
The way Dido's career went, in case anyone's forgotten, was a drop in 15 million sales between first and third albums. Her last release, Safe Trip Home, didn't even make Gold in the UK, and that's despite a tie-in with Nectar Cards.
But, hey, if Jamie Commons wants a career that goes the same way, who are we to argue? Maybe he's got plans to open a DIY store or something in 2016.
Elsewhere in Gordon's section, Jennifer Lawrence appears to have been running around with her tits out:
Jennifer Lawrence flashes her ‘wonky boobs’ at Oscar nominees’ bashReally, Alison Maloney? Jennifer Lawrence was flashing her breasts at an Oscars party? Are you sure?
The Silver Linings Playbook star – who recently stunned docs with worries about her wonky boobs – flashed her cleavage in the plunging floral gown at the Hollywood Reporter Nominees’ Night at Spago.Ah, so when you say "flashes her boobs", you mean "wears a dress with a V-shaped neck". That's not really the same thing, is it?