Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Kelly Rowland appears to believe that God is responsible for Verizon infrastructure

You're at sea. You have a small bit of trouble. Your phone is able to get a signal and you can call for help.

That, most people would assume, was a combination of luck and investment into the mobile phone network.

Not Kelly Rowland, though. She puts it down to God:

Speaking about the accident and how she came to be rescued, Rowland told Metro: "I remember thinking to myself, 'Lord, please don't let this boat capsize'." She added: "I was like, 'Please Lord, give me two bars. He gave me two bars and we contacted some folks that were on land and they helped us." The boat was 33 miles (53km) north of Provincetown when it was stranded.
Why would you only pray for a weak singnal? "O, lord, give me 4G, but not yet."

Furthermore, why would you ask god for a weak phone signal rather than, say, a boat, or help, or one of those whales out the Bible that you can live in assuming it's not a mistranslation of a metaphor for depression?

And, come to that, what sort of God is it who'd see one of his children bobbing about on the ocean, and decide that the intercession required was limited voice-carrier capability?

Some went out on the sea in ships; they were merchants on the mighty waters.
They saw the works of the Lord, his wonderful deeds in the deep.
For he spoke and stirred up a tempest that lifted high the waves.
They mounted up to the heavens and went down to the depths; in their peril their courage melted away.