Saturday, September 28, 2013

Alanis Morissette sued; 'How soon can I use the word?'

So, Alanis Morissette is being sued by her ex-nanny. It's a news story, it features Alanis Morissette. So, around the newsrooms of the world, Clippy from Microsoft Word pops up saying "it looks like you might want to shoe-horn in the word 'Ironic' here, regardless of how inappropriate it might be".

Can anyone resist?
The Province can't wait, kicking off the headline with the words:

Isn't it ironic? Alanis Morissette's nanny claims in lawsuit she was given no breaks, no overtime pay
In a bout of metairony, The Province's slogan is "It starts here". But even so, you'd have hoped they'd have managed to make it through to the lede before blowing their "ironic" gag.

Does someone want to see if they can hold it in a little longer?

The Vancouver Sun is next up, and manages to make it to paragraph two before deploying:
The former nanny of Canadian pop star Alanis Morissette is suing the singer claiming she wasn’t paid overtime or given breaks.

The legal documents — obtained by — are ironic because Morissette, 39, presents herself an earth mother with with a strong social conscience.
The inability to restrain itself from throwing 'ironic' into the pot is almost offset by the attempt to justify the word the ironic being there, but... well, when you're trying to describe the serving of legal papers as "ironic", you're on awkward ground. (Both the Province and the Sun seem to be working from the same basic source material, by the way, so it looks like The Prov took the decision to up the irony quota.)

Time for the Daily Mail to have a go.
Alanis Morissette's former night nanny sues singer for $130,000 as she claims she was denied meal breaks
Good start.
Alanis Morissette has been sued by a former nanny who claims she was not paid overtime and forced to work 12-hour overnight shifts without breaks.

The lawsuit was filed by former nanny Bianca Cambeiro on Thursday in Los Angeles Superior Court and seeks $30,000 in unpaid wages and $100,000 in damages.

Cambeiro was the night nurse for 39-year-old Alanis and her husband Mario Treadway and worked three to four days a week from 9pm to 9am, according to the lawsuit.
You're doing it, Mail.
Cambeiro said she was paid $25 an hour and was seeking $30,000 in unpaid wages.
She also was seeking $100,000 in damages claiming she suffered emotional distress.
Messages sent to Morrissette's representatives seeking comment were not immediately returned.
Well done, Mail. You made it through without falling into the trap. Let's just hope that your commenters don't turn up and spoil everything.
crosis, Widnes, United Kingdom, 9 hours ago
Isn¿t it Ironic? Actually no - just like in your song it is a series of avoidable events that make no sense whatsoever.
So, let's get this straight, crosis. You know there's nothing ironic in the story, but decided to post anyway to stress that there was nothing ironic going on.

Still, kudos to the Mail for holding out even if its readers couldn't cope.

The thing is, though, there is an appropriate Morissette track to use to rustle up a headline here. Rader, show 'em how it's done:
She Oughta Know…Better! Alanis Morissette Sued By Former Nanny For $100K
Thank you. We'd also have accepted something based on 'bitter little pill'

1 comment:

James said...

Nobody fancied going with "If she loses the $130,000 case, she'll need to put one hand in her pocket"? Shame.

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