Five Star garden party

You know that episode of Modern Family where one of Spandau Ballet turns up to do a solo gig at one of the houses?

Nothing like that would happen in real life, right?

What's that, Melton Times?

A STAR-STRUCK fan had a birthday bash he’ll never forget when one of the biggest British pop stars of the eighties turned up to sing in his back garden.

Martin Taylor, of Asfordby, was overjoyed when Denise Pearson, lead singer with Five Star and now a solo artist, sang at his 42nd birthday party on Saturday.

Actually it's quite a sweet story - Taylor's a big fan and knows Pearson, so it was a favour for a friend rather than reduced circumstances. But the Melton Times does slightly overboil it:

Renowned as Britain’s answer to the Jackson Five...

Let me just stop you there. "Renowned" is not a synonym for "Desperately marketed as".