French and Saunders machine-gun Lulu to death

Maybe not to death.

Who knew that the Cheltenham Literature Festival's big reveal this year would be that French and Saunders once shot Lulu?

They did. With her consent. But it wasn't supposed to hurt:

She was machine-gunned Pulp Fiction-style by Jennifer and Dawn French for singing her hit Shout too loudly.

The comedy duo picked up machine guns to blast the pop star who had blood pellets hidden in her clothes.

Saunders told the Cheltenham Literature Festival: “Lulu had been warned to keep her arms well away from her body when the blood pellets exploded.”

Unfortunately she left one arm a bit too close and she suffered a wound to her arm the size of a £2 coin and twice as deep."

You'll notice that Jennifer there does a bit of classic victim blaming there - oh, if only Lulu had kept her arms still we wouldn't have put holes in her body. What sort of monster are you, Saunders?

At least Canon and Ball only shot their own kind.