2013 Steps To Nowhere: February

6Music ask their listeners for favourite album; the answer was somewhat awkward. To avoid awkward onscreen moments, the Grammys had a dress code.

Jude Rogers wrote an excellent piece for The Observer. It was so good, parts of it were visible in The Telegraph.

Dave Grohl had a go at Britney Spears' tits while the tattooist left little of Cheryl Cole's arse.

A few years back, volunteers painted a mural on the wall of the Picket. It stood in the way of progress.

Jimmy Iovine announced overpriced headphone company Beats was getting into music streaming just as the US charts started to count YouTube views.

David Cameron ignored the ban on him liking The Smiths, as Morrissey blamed wars on non-gay people.

It was the Brits - what better time to celebrate the first growth in music sales since 1999?

To avoid too many artists being held in too few hands, Parlophone was sold by EMI. To Universal. By total coincidence, Universal donated Bieber tickets to the Tories to be auctioned for party funds around the same time. BMG snapped up Sanctuary

Bjork asked fans to fund her education app. They demurred. The people who built Akon's social network asked for money. He delayed.

Why did Robbie Williams and Oasis fall out? Because Williams couldn't Mod it up enough, of course. Not because Liam sobered up.

Returning: My Bloody Valentine
Still around: Northern Uproar
Splitting: Slayer, The Spice Girls

[Part of 2013 Steps To Nowhere]