Wednesday, August 20, 2014

More things for female pop stars to worry about

There's a bizarre post appeared on Vox which has managed to find a new way to be oddly unpleasant.

It's titled thus:

It's not just Ariana Grande; female pop stars are becoming terrible dancers
So, this piece is about dancing and how - apparently en masse - women have become bad at it, right?

Um... no. It's about hair. Alex Abad-Santos has a theory about hair, which I think is meant to be tongue-in-cheek but comes across awkwardly. Alex is aware of the context, observing:
It's been established that the music industry can be a sexist place.
"Can be". In the same way that Atlantis can be wet.

So, having established this, Alex then spends the rest of the column exploring how length of hair is related to ability to sing. No, really. There's even a graph:
You'll notice that Beyonce is an outlier, which is - apparently - what makes her great. There's then a diversion into Britney cutting her hair and the sort of 'we're losing our edge to the Far East' wailing that you'd expect to see in The American Spectator:
K-Pop stars train at a very young age and are often put together by record labels, making them just as manufactured as American pop stars. But as part of that training, they are actually taught to sing and dance.
Yeah, we should force children to spend hours and hours and hours training to ensure that in that brief couple of years before their career crashes that they can at least dance for our edification.

Yeah, by the end it does become a bit more about dancing. But mostly its about hair. Hair flipping being at the heart of that particular venn diagram, you see.

It's probably the oddest thing you'll read all day; it's certainly the best example of something probably intended to be humorous misfiring you'll come across.