Dazed And Confused, is the list of things banned at Coachella.
D&C have fun with idea of banning selfie sticks and, more specifically, narcissists - after all, coachella without narcissists would be like premiership football without nasty replica shirts; most of the audience would be excluded.
But some of the other bans are equally ridiculous - no marker pens? A ban on "outside food" for a festival where you camp?
There's also a list of approved items, which is probably even more infuriating:
I'm hoping that there's going to be some sort of expert on hand to be able to judge whether a collapsable item is an umbrella (and thus, forbidden) or a parasol.
The presence of "dancing shoes" and "smiles" there is probably the worst bit of it all - "hey, guys, we're being a bit heavy here but, yeah, we can still have fun if you bring your dancing shoes and big smiles. Not too big, though. If you're grinning in a freaky way, we'll have to search you for drugs and/or drug paraphanalia."