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This year's Coachella has announced its headliners, and the secret is out. I say "secret", it's been kept so poorly there are Motel Sixes which look down on it.
Guns N Roses and LCD Soundsystem are both returning from the dead to headline.
LCD Soundsystem's comeback is so soon after they stopped working as to probably count as a satire. The Roses is less satirical than inevitable.
Buckethead is keeping April clear, just in case.
James Murphy has got the hump with scalpers who bought up the entire allocation of tickets for the LCD Soundsystem at Madison Square Gardens in seconds. (Although, as Bob Lefsetz points out, the "allocation" was probably around 1,000 tickets per show.)
Murphy has announced five extra New York shows to try and compensate, while railing at those who swooped down to mop up the tickets:
we tried calling our lawyer about the ticket scalping. “it’s legal”. no joke. it’s fucking legal. i tramped around with friends and band getting insane. i wanted to buy some expensive tickets and then track the seller down to BEAT him. i acted stupid. i did some classic, shakespearean vain “fist shaking”, etc. i made angry tweets. (i’m wondering now what on earth could be less effective and more of a first-world spoiled idiotic move than “angry tweets”? jesus.)Impressively, Murphy wants the fans to be able to buy the tickets, at face prices, and not be ripped off.
LCD Soundsystem react to the leaking of their track not with lawsuits and witch-hunts, but by turning it into a promo opportunity:
well, bye bye bayou totally leaked everywhere, which shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, since anything that exists is essentially all over the internet in 5 minutes—but it wasn’t actually supposed to come out until november 7th (that indie store vinyl day), so we’ve asked and parlophone have given us 20,000 free downloads to give away to the first, well, 20,000 people. one per customer. or downloader. or avatar or whatever.
Hot Chip's Al Doyle seems to have started his own corrections and clarifications column:
"A news article has appeared, quoting me as saying that LCD Soundsystem is over, or that they have split up.
"I would like to clarify that LCD have not disbanded, nor could the entity be disbanded in the sense that it has always had a revolving cast of players – it would be like saying that The Fall had disbanded, or Prince has split up.
"LCD Soundsystem is James Murphy, and he's allowed to take time off, do other things, and come back, or not come back. And he doesn't have to tell you or anyone else about it.
"I didn't know if anything was going on with LCD next year, which is the truth, and that's all I should have said, but I gabbled on a bit because that's the way I am...
"Anyway, I should probably stop doing interviews after this, which is already my second chance. But the main point to take away is that more LCD music is in the pipeline, which is surely good news for everybody."
We do love split records, and are delighted that in this age of downloady-digitilisation there are still bands willing to team up to do them.
Bands like LCD Soundsystem and Arcade Fire, who are coming together for an ass-to-ass 7". The LCDs will be doing Joy Division's No Love Lost while the Fire puts out Serge Gainsbourg's Poupee de Cire, Poupee De Son.
Heh heh... he said 'poopy'. Heh heh.
The thing will be available during the band's joint US tour, and on "various websites". Of which eBay will be just one, we suspect.
Pitchfork is currently offering links to Franz Ferdinand covering LCD Soundsystem's All My Friends. You might like to watch it.
So, what's the difference between a stunt and inspiration? We suppose that a stunt is an inspiration which should have been quietly forgotten.
Which, we think, makes the planned-for-May LCD Soundsystem covers fun inspired. Two split 7" singles, featuring on one side an LCDS cover, on the flip, LCDS covering someone else. Because its called Friends, see? The Friends in question are Franz Ferdiand and John Cale; the covers include James Murphy having a crack at Joy Division's No Love Lost. Then there are CD and 12 inch versions. Pitchfork make it sound a lot more coherent than we've managed.
"Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez talk about how they'll celebrate their wedding" promises Hello - apparently by Jennifer turning into Jackie Kennedy to judge by the front page. "Jennifer explains why this marriage will be her last" - I'd imagine because having worked her way through the men, she'll be getting cracking on the chicks next, is it? Or maybe it's because interest is waning, what with Jenny From The Block barely managing to sell more than 40,000 copies...
In Music Week, Alan Jones takes a hard look at Shania Twain's album and its oddities - a double CD that isn't advertised as such; in the US disc 2 is country mixes, while in the rest of the world you get the ghastly-sounding 'world mixes' and, scarily, nine of the tracks have exclamation marks. As does Up! itself. It sold 73,000 copies in first week in the UK racks, which compares well with the start Come On Over made (just 122 copies). If Up! reaches total sales as proportionately high to its week one as its predecessor, Shania can expect to flog nearly two billion here...
MW also reports further changes at the nme where, following on from appointment of former Daily Express writer Melissa Myers as news editor, deputy editor James Oldham is quitting to run a pretend indie label, Loog, part of the Vivendi-Universal conglomerate. Actually, we wish him well, although its a pity that he feels his time at the NME has "reached its natural conclusion", which we wouldn't be so cheap as to suggest has anything to do with the recent change in the editor's chair at Kings Reach Tower...
talking of what and which, there's two things lurking in the placcy bag the paper comes in this week - a Chain With No Name advent calendar (December 7th has a Haven Album clearly shoved in a girl's vagina); poorly drawn versions of celebs litter the calendar, offering a badly drawn Badly Drawn Boy and Conor Oberst looking like he's mid-change from mild scientist David Banner...
then there's a Bring It On - another month over so soon? - with The Datsuns on the front, pretty girls make graves, the thrills, the kills (rhyming bands alert), glassjaw, kinesis, the rapture and a scary close-up of conor oberst plus a better quality shot of Pete Libertines in his skirt...
so, onto the nme proper, with Black Rebel Motorcycle Club on the front - huzzah...
news: Kelly Osbourne says "I'm no Britney" - thats right, love, Britney can carry a tune when she has to; eminem is thinking about taking more acting roles following the success of 8 Mile - apparently playing largely himself in a film has given him to confuse himself with an actor. Someone should play him Desperately Seeking Susan and Shanghai Surprise back to back, and quickly; "Could former Marilyn Manson guitarist Twiggy Ramirez be about to join Blur? Could Courtney Love be about to join the former members of Guns N Roses?" asks the nme. No, and no. Next? Fabrizio Moretti has cut his hair off (hmmm, you'd have to say, having the Daily Star's gossip columnist at the news desk is starting to look less like a duff plan if this is the standard her news coverage is going to have rise to next week); what's puzzling about Kylie getting the huff over a body double being used for the unofficial hits package is not why she's arsey, but why the label behind the album had trouble finding a nearly nude Kylie shot to use for real; stars are asked what they think of Kurt's Diary in a feature entitled "Let's see if we can squeeze some more mileage out of this, then." What do the stars think then? We simply don't know. But we do know what Ryan Adams ("I'm just trying to read the stuff that makes me laugh" - anyone who can explain how you go about doing this wins a prize); Wayne Coyne ("He knew he was going to die, why didn't he take these things and burn them?"); Henry Rollins ("I'd like to see the version of the journal that says 'I'm really trying to get away from my psycho wife" - thanks for playing, Henry"); Roddy Woomble ("I don't feel the need to read it"); Steve Lamacq ("I met him") and Eddie Vedder ("I probably could relate to the suspiscion coming out of his brain [...] I've [...] I've [...] I've had a hard time [...] I used to [...] I'm [...] I've [...] "); Fischerspooner story blah blah blah oh give it up; you can win a free Winona Ryder tshirt by completing a sentence - which is ironic, being as how that's how Winona's going to have to win her freedom, too. ("Winona is innocent because...", by the way. Um, only she's not, is she?); there's a thing which claims the nme has come with three free badges "this week" which, clearly is meant to run next week - still time to realise just how shitty and awful the concept and, indeed the badges themselves are (More Melody Maker style "you all use our catchphrases like 'You Cock' and 'If they bring someone in over my head, I'm off to Polydor' all the time, don't you?" self-regarding nonesense, I'm afraid); there's two pages of Robbie Williams news - like we give a shit; there's also fevered speculation as to why Chris Martin had the letters BH on his hand at the MTV Music Award - it was a greeting for one of his friends who was having a birthday. You might think that someone with a top ten album might have sent a card and a bottle of beer or two; Ryan Adams has recorded hardcore punk for The Finger's We Are Fuck You album; Tim Burgess says that the solo album has come about because he feels isolated from the rest of the Charlatans - presumably the implication of living on the other side of the world not thought through, there, then; he's also been on a pilgramage to the Joshua Tree National Park to try and capture the spirit of Gram Parsons. Probably lucky the body had already gone, then...
hot new bands: pretty girls make graves - hot? yes; new? debatable...
sum 41's dave baksh does the pretend cd thing... he calls it Ass Invaders... huh huh huh huh... he said 'ass'... heh heh heh heh... Beavis chooses Anthrax, Pantera, Carcass and Death...
the pisspoor concept of getting readers to email gossip in is showing itself up for the mouldy cake it seemed like - Ladytron were spotted backstage at their own gig, believe it or not. Fancy...
Cranebuilders are interviewed so briefly as to have nothing worth mentioning there...
ryan adams is smeared lusily over four pages. He addresses the "humourless" charge over the Bryan Adams affair by pointing out the guy he gave the money back to had been using the same joke right through the gig, and it was at the Ryman Auditorium which was, personally, a big deal to him. And apparently Neil Young has since told him "You're lucky. All my life I got Neil fuckin' Diamond." He also claims he never went out with Beth Orton, and then turns his attention to Denise Richards who wears a mask to avoid breathing the air on planes: "How do you hold a penis in your hand? Charlie Sheen's penis mind you... you put that in your mouth and yet you put a bag on your head so you won't breathe the same air as other people."...
James Murphy/ LCD Soundsystem believes he's reuniting rock and dance, which were separated by homophobia and racism...
Good idea to investigate rock at violence, post-Leeds toilet riots and someone getting sexually assaulted at a Richard Ashcroft gig. Bad idea to try and do it in half a page, although Anton Brookes is on hand to provide the backbone to the piece: "You get these idiots, they read about what the hardcore days were like... but they don't get it. It used to be about self-expression and everybody would help each other. Now you just get a load of morons going mental."...
BRMC, then: it's a good article, but it's perhaps a little too heavy on letting daylight in on magic and explaining the new songs...
reviews: albums:
ladytron - light and magic - "it doesn't all work, but...", 8
audioslave - audioslave - "what does this parade of heavyweights amount to? nothing very much at all", 4
meat beat manifesto - ruok? - "none of this sounds less than seven years old", 4
ja rule - the last temptation - "aimed at the doubters, not the kids", 6
blazin squad - in the beginning - "PG treatment of adult themes", 6
singles:
sotw - eminem - lose yourself - "genius"
the raveonettes - attack of the ghost riders - "best JAMC-indebted Danish goth-garage band around"
tegan and sara - monday, monday, monday - "they have no tunes. rubbish"
live:
doves - glasgow - "untouchable"
the rapture - london ICA - "absurd in theory; compelling in practice"
john squire - liverpool uni - apparently a lot of Roses stuff
ladytron - london WC2 - "'can we stop talking about porn now?' asks Danny 'can we talk about nice things?'"
best thing in nme this week: the model in the virgin mobile advert. in tights. he's yummy.
