Ian Brown: Fast Erratic Acceleration Relief

Nick Freeman, the solicitor who does very nicely, thank you, out of keeping people caught speeding on the road has helped Ian Brown keep his licence despite being clocked doing 105 miles per hour on the M6. After dark:

Brown, wearing a shirt and tie and a large black jacket, thanked magistrates after his lawyer Nick Freeman argued that a driving ban would have caused him "insurmountable" difficulties in relation to seeing his 11-year-old son who lives in London with his mother and in attending Stone Roses band rehearsals which are taking place at "a remote secret location".

You might wonder - especially if you've had a friend or relative killed by a person speeding on a motorway - if the requirements of a man rehearsing for a multimillion pound showbusiness event should be the priority in deciding if that bloke should be on the road.

I mean, we all know how ropey Brown's voice is live, but how bloody remote does the rehearsal space have to be? Is it like Gruinard Island, a place which has to be miles away from where people live and which will be hostile to life for decades to come?

Rehearsing with the Stone Roses might not be a job you can do working from home, but surely the response should be 'he might want to think about moving the rehearsal space' rather than 'go on, then, keep your licence'. Or, given the cash sloshing about for reunion tickets, that Brown might just be able to afford a driver. One who doesn't bomb up the road like a boy racer.

Ure going too fast

Midge Ure, pixiesque god-loving former Ultravox frontman turned up in the papers yesterday, being fined GBP500 for driving without due care and attention. We can only imagine he'd been driving with tears in his eyes.