What The Pop Papers Say: The Blackburn and Lamacq edition

It's perhaps not surprising that virtually every general magazine has chosen as a subject for its cover this week that milestone, with the exception of the Radio Times which has gone for quite a different milestone, marking the 2000th edition of Top of the Pops (although, actually, TV Cream seems convinced the 'notable' episode passed some weeks back); they have a fold out cover of some past presenters. It's perhaps unsurprising that the current team of nomarks are banished to the bit that you can't see, and the team that people have heard of - Saville, Mike Read - are given the shelf space. I mean - Richard Blackwood? Lisa Snowdon? Wisely, the innards of the magazine have been handed to Stuart Maconie, a man who is able to write with genuine affection about the show. Holly Johnson credits David Bowie hugging Mick Ronson on the pops as being the first show of genuine affection between men on proper telly, you know...

Talking of the Pops, how bad is Amanda Platell? For some reason, the pointless woman has decided to turn from a subject she knows little about to a topic she knows nothing about, as her gaze turns from politics to celebrity in her frequently embarrassing new Statesman column. She condemns the people partaking in I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here as people who have "dreamed of, or slept with" celebrity. Amanda, here's half a clue for you: It's called Google. Type in a name and you might find out that Tony Blackburn is, in some sense, an uber-celeb. Leaving aside the fact he's the highest rated AM music show presenter, Tony created the Radio One Breakfast Show format that's still in place today (modernised, but basically unchanged otherwise). He presented Top of the Pops for years (that, and not 'get me out...', is why he's on the Radio Times cover this week - at a time when the show was a mighty force on British TV rather than a quaking brand buried against Corrie. More crucially, his very public breakdown following Tessa Wyatt dumping him, and the fall-out and following interviews, was the event which set the template for the celeb-goes-nuts/celeb-gets-rehabilitated cycle that drives the tabloids today. Someone who comes from a tabloid background should know that...

Following the Blackburn celeb crack-up route, a sad piece in the Observer OM follows Adam Ant on his downward spiral. All a bit upsetting, really, as Adam frets that "I know its going to be Rock Star Goes Nuts." Which is, of course, part of the deal you make when you seek fame - people will embrace every new nuance of your painted face and hang on your opinions; but they'll also stare at every unpaid bar tab and piece of misbehaviour. When you live your life as theatre, you can never go and hide in the wings...

Music Week reports that a "bewildered dance music industry" are embracing cheesey-dance as their only hope of avoiding wipe-out as the market for beats falls away. This means more songs about rubber ducks, less Moby. There's no way to slice that so it sounds bad, so to make clearer: the future is Scooter singing Supertramp in Minnie Mouse voices. Forever...

the nme has black rebel motorcycle club on the front - "drugs! death! paranoia!" - yeah, but what *new* have you got for us?...

there's five pages about the blur split - headlined 'blur in crisis', like they were the Middle East; but it all hangs on the non-appearance of the Graham on the Webcam, really. Mozzer denies he's ever had an offer to reform the Smiths - ten quid and a box of new energy Boost bars, then, Moz?; Marquee reopens (or rather, old sign hung up outside new club); police deny last week's stories about police brutality during the leeds riots (and, so far, no formal complaints have been made); stars are flocking to record at Toe Rag studios, apparently; Pete Libertine's ex-girlfriend is threatening to sue the band for using a line from her dear john note as a lyric; JJ72 have had their album date pushed back to make way for Suede - in all, there's news right up to Page 24 this week; curious since its actually rather a quiet week...

There's a rundown on The New Lamacq betting - Colin Murray, Zane Lowe and Mike Davies out front; there's also some weasling from the Radio One head of Specialist, Live Music and Speech Ian Parkinson, which is interesting. They say the show is being axed because "it's Steve's show, and to simply put in a new presenter would be wrong" - curious that, since the Evening Session has been presented by Goodier and Wylie as well, and on thursdays it's done by about five different people - why would the regional editions be possible if it was Lammo's show? The big hint here is that they wanted rid of the ridiculously gaunt one, a feeling confirmed by the 'managers vote of confidence' that follows. ("Steve remains a key presenter at Radio 1, fronting one of our flagship specialist shows" - yeah, we'll give that until Easter). "There's nothing wrong with the Evening session, but we feel that a new show and a new presenter will give us more freedom to approach the alternative music scene in a new and exciting way. We want to take the championing of new music to the next level." Now, since it's hard to imagine anyone more passionate about their music than Steve, this can clearly only mean: we want to play stuff Steve doesn't like, so he's out. I mean, how can you approach the music scene in "new ways" other than playing the records, giving out sessions and talking to the bands anyway? "You have to remember that the Evening Session has hugely widened its musical remit over the years" - no it hasn't; and I'd challenge Radio One to demonstrate that it has. It's always been mainly guitar based with occassional forays into dance. Sure, there might be more punky/nu-rock nowadays, but that's because there's a lot more raw material around right now. Besides, if the show *has* adapted over the years, why stop iit now? Asked if Radio One still has a duty to play alternative music, Parkinson says "It's not a duty, it's a passion." Erm... actually, mate, it's a duty. You're funded by the licence fee to provide something for everyone, and part of that is playing music from beyond the pop mainstream. Its why Radio One is worth saving from the people who would privatise it. It's why Radio One deserves to be funded. You might enjoy doing it - that's great - but still, never forget - you're there for us. Okay? And for a final spot of spin, challenged that Radio One has a bias towards dance and urban, Parkinson retorts "It's simply not true. There are more hours devoted to guitar and alternative music than urban and dance." Now, clearly there's no need for a quota to be applied, and radio 1 should be doing all these things, but... c'mon. All the 'indie' shows have been pushed back in the schedule to make way for more shows like Dave Pearce's - when's the Breezeblock on now? Half past nighttime? - and from the end of Mark Radcliffe on Friday, it's pretty much pop and dance solidly until, well, Radcliffe on Monday. In sheer terms of hours, it might be there's more guitars on the network, but the impression of Radio One is of a dance-heavy station. Worse, much of it is scheduled at the same time that commercial stations are doing substantially similar programmes, robbing listeners of any choice...

on bands - wit - the atomic kitten of electroclash and the zutons - another Bandwagon band...

Marcie Von Bondie started to play guitars "because boys made me." That's her off the ladyfest wish list, then...

BRMC are asked who their favourite authors are. Peter's response is "Who wrote the Old Man and the Sea?" - which is apparently the only book he's ever finished. No such problems with which rock star they'd most like to have been - Jimi Hendrix, Ian Curtis, (more playfully) Kurt Cobain. I wonder why people think they're detah-obsessed?...

the centre pages are given over to that "No war on Iraq" ad from Blur and Massive Attack. Which is great to see, but I'm not entirely sure that the claim "Both the British and US governments have stated their preparedness to use nuclear weapons in this war" is entirely true - haven't they just not ruled out first use, and not with regards to Iraq specifically? Its a small point, but it would be a pity if a strong moral cause felt the need to inflate the case to win people to its side. That's for *them* to do...

Didn't the nme used to love Oxide and Neutrino? Maybe its to avoid falling into the trap last year, when the paper seemed to be too quick to let off their So Solid chums for the fifteen year old with a broken jaw incident, but this time, O&N are paraded for the prime knobcheese you'd expect of an act who will sing "most of the time when you meet a girl, that girl will be a ho" - and who think that Peter Stringfellow is "proper safe." Hmmm...

Coldplay do the ten tracks - Pixies, Streets, Smiths, Kraftwerk, Aretha, Clash. Blimey, they listen to all that, and *still* make records that sound like weedy old gant toss. Makes you wonder...

reviews - soft cell - cruelty without beauty ("verge on the hamfisted", 6); death in vegas - scorpio rising ("adds up well", 8); miss black america - god bless miss black america ("al the wrong music", 5); paul weller - illumination ("long may he rail", 8); atomic kitten - feels so good ("cows", 3); roddy frame - surf ("uncool, of course, but beautiful", 8)...

sotw - the datsuns - in love ("we're besotted"); not suede - positivity ("go quietly now, and [your fans] will remain true", nor Avril Lavigne - complicated ("nowhere near as shit or wrong as the impending busted single"), nor BRMC - whatever happened to my rock n roll ("a very good record")...

live: foo fighters at ULU ("they've kept getting better"); Libertines in Scotland ("wistful as they are brutal")...

from the small ads: "Manics/Placebo fans wanted for university dissertation research. What draws you to these bands?" Contact magnoliasparkle@yahoo.com if you want, but it sounds like a trap to me...