What the pop papers say, part two: The 'not exactly express' edition

So, where were we? Before we get to the main business of the week, a couple of other pieces. First, is it really fair of NewMediaGuardian to snipe at the tabloids for filling their gossip columns with bits culled from Popbitch while, um, filling their diary with bits culled from Popbitch; even if the item was about the posts relating to the possibility that Popbitch might start charging. The question is: how much should one pay to read Hufty from The Word's anonymous words of wisdom?...

Popbitchers themselves were frothing with the news that PJ and Eibb have granted an interview to Sleaze Nation to say how Popbitch is rubbish now and they don't bother posting any more, not them, no. Yes, my friends, it's a style magazine doing an article about how a message board isn't as good as it used to be. Cutting edge...

Ministry of Sound trumpet a Callaghanesque "Crisis? What Crisis?"* - apparently, the loss of 11 staff, the departure of the Music Group CEO and the termination of several side-projects isn't a sign that the dance empire is crumbling, instead they tell Music Week "it's about concentrating on our strengths." The fact that Fischerspooner is part of a scene that's selling well in Germany apparently proves that they're not a squib at all, you know. Mind you, David Hassellhoff sells well in Germany, and he's yet to replicate the success anywhere else. Also from Music Week - you know how downloads are hurting sales? Album sales up twelve per cent compared with where they were at this point last year...

So, the nme finally made it. In a horrible, horrible orange bag that smells really, really awful, the cover proper has got Dave Grohl on it. But you wouldn't know because it's all about the CD, man.

And it is a great CD - Libertines, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Beatings, Von Bondies, Ikara Colt, Radio 4, BRMC, The D4... really, even if this week's issue was rubbish, it's worth getting.

And the issue isn't bad, either. Hurrah!

News: "I've got a quote for the NME - fuck off." That Robbie Williams knows how to hurt, doesn't he?; Eminem's delighted to have won awards from MTV Europe. He showed his bottom to celebrate. There's that picture of Sophie Ellis Bextor holding the innards of a fox, and P Diddy wearing a fur coat - maybe it's bulletproof or something. Although presumably wasn't for the fox. Guns and Roses say the riot which happened when they didn't play wasn't down to them. Axl was apparently fully intending to play the gig in Vancouver, despite being in a plane above LA when the doors opened. Hmmm.; Pink has said she dreams of killing the president of Nigeria, because she suspects that his "promise" that the stoning to death of Amina Lawal won't happen is just some PR blather to try and keep Miss World in the country; Liam and Noel haven't spoken to each other for six weeks - this is awful, as at least when they're talking to each other they're not talking to us; the nme Cool List take 2 compiles reader's votes - Cobain; Gallagher N; Chris Martin; Eminem; Ms Dynamite; Coxon; Yorke; Rivers "do I sniff a write-in campaign?" Cuomo; PJ Harvey and Marilyn Manson - is it any surprise that the two genuinely cool people here are women-ladies?; filling out the news pages a little more with stuff that would once have been in angst, snippets of reactions to the publications of Kurt's Diary are used to add weight to the news that a bunch of schoolkids are trying to get the book recalled and pulped; Ryan Adams wants to work with Doves...

Hot New Bands: The Go - former consorts of Jack White; My Morning Jacket - Led Zep and Muppet inspired longhairs

Interpol do ten tracks for a fake CD type thing - Ladytron, Primal Scream, Duran Duran, Nick Cave...

There's also a picture of an indie boys cock, with requests for it to be claimed...

The D4 are aiming for 100 per cent rock, but "that would involve death."...

Dave Grohl is 33, and feels he's been doing rock too long - "I've been kinda waiting for it to bottom out... I feel like I've achieved things way beyond my expectations"...

Radio 4 - the band, not the station - have something to say about Fischerspooner - "They're taking early-80's punk and electronic music and demeaning it." Big yes...

And another big yes: Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Nick says the band is "one giant, throbbing shag." Mark Beaumont describes them as having fallen together. This is right...

reviews: albums: pulp - hits - "evolution - as alan partridge would put it - not revolution", 9
jay z - the blueprint 2 - "naz gets two death threats, but that's a spent battle", 8
sum 41 - does this look infected? - "they aint no Fugazi", 7
atari teenage riot - redfine the enemy - "German students phoninh long distance from a drum n bass night", 8

singles: sotw - lcd soundsystem - give it up - "high grade rock and roll"
otjers - bjork - its in our hands - "plots her career with the steely singlemindedness of a Tory MP during conference season"
Atomic Kitten - the last goodbye - "bring back Kerry"

live - pink - brixton - "all this should stink to high heaven. it doesn't, though because although pink will stop at nothing, there's a twist - she does it all on her own terms"
the apples in stereo - london E1 - "magnified cartoon psychedlia can make you do goofy things"
sugababes - kings cross scala - "the soap opera is in danger of drowning out the funk"...

and just as its looking so good, they blow it. The letters page now has a slot for pictures of fans sent through SMS Picture Messaging. We thought they were turning into Melody Maker, but we were wrong - they seem intent on being the new Number One...

* - yes, we *know* - Larry Lamb headline rather than Sunny Jim quote. Don't bother emailing.