Great investments in music history

How many millions did Island invest in Mariah Carey? They must be delighted with the response to her comeback - her long-awaited new album Charmbraclet debuts this week two places higher than Robson Green's new collection.

Trouble is, Robson's in at 54. Yup, despite her whirlwind of publicity, she's not even been able to make the top 50. Maybe if she'd been a bit more honest in her interviews and said "Yup, I went nuts" rather than peddling the line that she thought "I might as well go to the emergency room to get out of doing some TV", she might have been forgiven. But there's nothing worse than someone with a sweet life telling us how they've got it so hard, is there?

But the humiliation for the Celine-In-A-Crop-Top isn't over yet - so desperate are they to try and shift some of the copies of the album, she's being reduced to hoofing round the supermarkets like Tiffany and Kylie did when nobody knew who they were. Maybe Tiffany's other career choice - the drop and spread of a Playboy feature - now represents Mariah's only way of keeping the pill cupboard stocked in the long term?