Oh, wouldn't it be luvverly?

We normally wouldn't bother with this as apparently Heat have done it, but... About Me - MartinesPlace.com - Martine McCutcheon's official site - is just priceless.

Apart from the introduction, where a cartoon version of a much, much thinner Martine appears to be miming self-fulfilment while another Martine signs autographs (or maybe deals with angry letters from people who turned up to see her in My Fair Lady on the nights when she was 'ill'), the site is a mixture of thick ego sauce with lacings of poorly written, self-loving gush:

My nicknames originated from my Mum. Doughnut is still used often within the family group, I was a sugary sweet girl who always loved a squidgy cuddle. Mum would say I was all sweet and sugary on the outside and soft and jammy on the inside. Hence, Doughnut was born.

And we'd like to apologise to people for the mangling of the syntax there...