No Rock And Roll Fun

BYE, THEN: Paltrow and Martin plan to move to Spain to bring up their Coldplay sprog, what with someone apparently giving them, like, half of Spain as a Christmas present. "We're annoying people with our constant baby talk" trills Gwynneth - which might explain why their friends chose to club together and buy them a patch of land in a totally different country to live in. That phrase, by the way, is also the reason why the next Coldplay album is going to be the worst thing ever - you can already picture Chris Martin thinking up rhymes for "tiny toes" and "baby rattle."