No Rock And Roll Fun

NOT BELLE DE JOUR: Clearly, Belle De Jour is not a pen-name for Lauren Laverne, as anyone who was capable of earning money as a callgirl wouldn't wind up presenting The Orange Playlist. It's still rolling away in the background on ITV, and this week it's the turn of Denise Van Outen to choose some records.



Here, Lauren attempts to show Denise what skin that isn't riddled with the seed of future melanoma looks like.

In the programme, Denise reveals that she took pictures of herself on George Michael's toilet to show to all her friends - we imagine many excuses and early entrances must have been when she got that roll back from Bonusprint - and that at a party, she met Andrew Ridgeley standing next to the fridge and - what larks! - called him Andrew Fridgeley all evening. It's a wonder Passport To Paradise wasn't recomissioned, isn't it? We don't know if Andrew responded by renaming denise after an appropriate object next to her, although unless George Michael has a stupid, cackling tit in his kitchen, it seems unlikely.