No Rock And Roll Fun

KEVIN AND BRITNEY, SITTING IN A TREE: So, what's the reasoning behind getting Kevin federline out doing interviews in his own right? Presumably this is all part of a Keep Britney Happy push on the part of her organisation. For whatever reason, Kevin has done a debut interview with Details magazine. He claims that Britney is really proud of him:

"I could be sitting at home doing nothing. I could be playing video games. She's more proud of me than anyone has ever, ever, ever been in my lifetime."

Well, if you've worked out how to plug in the X-Box all by yourself now, Kevin, of course Britney is going to be proud of you. And sitting at home doing nothing? Think how proud your ex-wife would have been of you if you'd stayed at the home you shared doing nothing instead of sniffing round Britney.

But let's not run away with the idea that Kevin is some kind of burbling half-wit who shouldn't be trusted to do up his own shoelaces.

"Our parents were telling us to take our time," he said. "But I mean, it's like, we knew. And how often do people listen to their parents anyway?"

Kevin, you're 27 years old. You should be way past doing things to annoy your parents by now. Good god, do you eat just ice cream for tea because your mummy tells you not to?

Anyway, besides having a role of attempting to get Britney pregnant - crikey, just imagine how cross Dad'll be when he finds out about that, eh? - Kevin and Britney are in business together:

Kevin said they might call the range Pair of Dice after their matching tattoos. Britney has a tattoo of a pink dice and Kevin has a tattoo of a blue dice.

He added: "I'm going to design the men's and she'll design the women's."

The roles were decided because Kevin is better at doing the trousers with his crayons and doesn't quite know how the doing-up bits on the end of ladies' bras go.

But Pair of Dice? Why not just go the whole distance and call it Cortina?

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