THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF 3AM

We'd wondered for a while why they called the Mirror gossip column 3am - but we're starting to get it. It's chock-full of the sort of stuff you come up with at 3am in the morning when you're pushing for a deadline and will take whatever you can get. Amongst today's items: Charlotte Church spills some drink on her blouse; Jessie Wallace from Eastenders looks at a picture of David Beckham in a restuarant and - to be honest, we like this one - the turning of "Noel Gallagher goes to see Coldplay" into Chris/Noel slash fiction:

At a secret Coldplay gig on Tuesday night, Martin couldn't stop looking up at his Oasis rival in the VIP section of the Round Chapel in Hackney, East London.

In fact, during the band's encore Chris could hold back no longer and risked serious injury by climbing up to the second-floor balcony to give Noel a hug.

There was a problem, though:

"You could tell from his face he hadn't quite thought about getting back to the stage. In the end he plucked up the courage to jump," said our source.

"It would have been a downbeat end to the show if he'd broken both legs."

It really would have been a pisser if Chris Martin had smashed both his own legs, as we've spent the last three weeks in negotiations with Crusher Nobbs to get the job done.

music chris martin noel gallagher coldplay oasis