UNUSUAL; CERTAINLY CRUEL

We can only ponder what it is that made the Geneva-convention skirting guards down at Guantanamo choose to try and keep Mohammed al Qahtani awake by playing him Christina Aguilera. Did they have reason to suspect he was a music lover? Or just really, really into Britney instead.

Come to that, though, isn't Christina's music meant to be empowering for the downtrodden? It seems a little odd to try and break someone before questioning by playing them Stronger and Beautiful - he's not going to be more pliable in the morning, is he?

- Come on, scumbag; you were trying to destroy the American way of life with your strange ways, weren't you?
- No, no, no. Whatever you say to me, I am beautiful, and your words cannot bring me down

Mind you, the report into his al Qahtani's interrogation also suggests that he was forced to watch a "satirical puppet show" about his behaviour - so the CIA is basically funding personal episodes of Spitting Image. Again, experience suggests that this isn't going to work - he'll be like the Thatcher cabinet or Michael Winner, bidding in auction to buy his own puppet and telling the Telegraph diary "well, they were a bit cheeky and quite near the knuckle, but it's all in good fun, and an extraordinary likeness... I shall display the model in my hallway for all my guests..."

music torture Mohammed al Qahtani