JERMAINE: "GO ON, LET ME BE YOUR OFFICIAL SPOKESMAN... GO ON..."

We're a little fazed by the reports that the reaction of Michael Jackson fans to his decision not to go to his Dad's birthday party was to dress up like him and crash the hotel - nothing says "we love you a little too much" like trying to pass yourself as your idol's kid at his own birthday. Meanwhile, Jermaine, still revelling in the glow of being the highest-profile of Joe's kids not to have brought shame on the family, has been acting again as his brother's spokesperson:

"He was very tired and he's resting," Jermaine said. "His case tore him apart mentally. He's very strong mentally, but he needs his rest right now."

So, he's very strong but in pieces, mentally, then. We can just about picture that, we think. But what of his fans - the people for whom the phrase "Never actually, actually been convicted" is fast moving from mantra to catchphrase. What on earth made them turn up dressed as Jackson to his Dad's party?

Alexander Greve, 25, who arrived for the party decked out in a single glove, black wig and sparkly silver jacket, said he spent six days standing outside the courthouse in Santa Maria, California.

"I even shook his hand. That was a really great feeling," Greve said, adding that it was obvious Jackson would be too tired to travel to Berlin.

So... then... why... did... you... dress up? And fly to Berlin? But, obviously, for the Jackson fans, it's all about them, isn't it?

But others, such as Kayhan Ayden, 28, held out hope their hero would still make an appearance.

"Maybe he'll surprise me and still show up," Ayden said.

"Hey, Michael, glad you could make it"
"Well, Dad, I thought it would be a nice surprise for Kayhan person-I've-never-met if I did"
"You truly are a sweet person, Michael. Now, put the bellboy down..."

music michael jackson jermaine jackson