LIVE 8: TWENTY PAST TEN

Where could they find anyone more irritating than Robbie Williams to do the introduction for the handbag of ego? Step forward, David Beckham. (And how much must it kill Geri Halliwell that the closest the Spices got to the Live 8 stage was one of their husbands doing a run-in.)

We're not quite sure what message Williams is trying to send by gooning round the stage to Let Me Entertain You while flashing images of unfortunate and dispossesed children on the big screen behind him. And we're equally uncertain why he's wearing Albert Steptoe's scarf round his neck, come to that.

Still, compared to Jet - who are onstage at Canada - Williams looks like he's spent a fortune in Moss Bros. We can only presume that the band had to sleep under some sort of hedge before the gig. For six or seven nights straight. In thunderstorms. There's a slight feeling around everything we're seeing from Canada that nobody's really making that much of an effort - the feeling is the one you get at the Acoustic Stage at Glastonbury in the closing hours of the ceremony, that everyone's having fun but with the sense that something better and more exciting is happening elsewhere. (Actually, we've got a couple of friends - Rufus and Claire, hi and congratulations - who were getting married in Toronto today; they had toruble getting their guests anywhere to stay because a giant Alcoholics Anonymous meeting had booked up every spare room in the city months ago, so it's possible Jet did spend last night under a hedge.)

Turning our attention to Hyde Park, we wish we hadn't - Williams appears to be touching his cock - nervous tick? checking it's still there? - before launching into The Greatest Song Ever Made Ever(TM). It's only really sinking in now that any major event with even an ounce of emotional twang to it is going to have Angels lumbered into it at some point, which would be a great reason to attempt to harden your heart and resolve to never connect.

Philadelphia seem to have been watching Maroon 5 forever - they've just started Rockin In The Free World, too, which means they'll be on for a good half hour yet, too.

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