VENUEWATCH: Venuewatch

The onward march of progress has picked up its pace a little, and the vapourisation of the legendary Edinburgh Venue is hitting two years earlier than originally planned. The city is to lose a music haunt which for two decades has hosted bands on their first lap of the city - from Franz Ferdinand to the Stone Roses - and will instead gain some offices "and an upmarket delicatessan."

"Of course, if we'd done this twenty years ago just think of all the extra filing we could have seen inside these walls" said an excited property developer. "Admittedly, the Happy Mondays and The Strokes would never had been here making musical history and giving people experiences they'll take with them for their whole lives, but on the other hand - we could have been selling three types of pastrami all along instead. And who wouldn't swap a gig in a club packed with sweat and hormones in order to get a slightly different sort of sandwich from the sort you can get anywhere else, eh?"

Actually, the developers claim to be helping the Venue find somewhere to go:

Phil Myrescough, the group's managing director, said every effort had been made to help the current operators of the Venue, Raw Promotions Scotland, find an alternative location, but no progress had been made to date.

He added: "They want to relocate, but it's easier said than done finding an alternative location for somewhere like the Venue."

Yes, Mr. Myrescough, exactly. Offices can go anywhere, but perfect venues? They're not so easy. What does that tell you?

music edinburgh