NEVER TOO EARLY TO CLAIM YOUR KID FOR A CULT

Probably only disappointed resignation can be mustered for the reports that Britney Spears has booked cult venue LA Kabbalah centre for some sort of ceremony nine days after the planned birth date of her baby. We'd imagine the event - for seventy close friends and family - has to be nine days after birth as an averagely intelligent ten day-old child would be able to see through Kabbalah as little more than an overpriced string and water sales company.

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