DON'T CALL IT A RELAUNCH

Harold Wilson, that you should be alive at this hour as Sony-BMG announce the launch of an exciting new product, the Dual Format CD/DVD. (Yes, yes, they were announcing it over a year ago, but they never actually got any into the shops then - some sort of problem with intellectual property rights, funnily enough - but they're going to arrive in the shops this time. The technology, in effect, allows record companies to add an extra layer of price to each disc, charging up to fifteen quid for a CD with some half-assed "extra content" upon it.

Great news, eh? Well... maybe not. The dual format discs aren't exactly solid. For example, Pioneer Electronics warns people not to put them anywhere near their DVD players:

The non-DVD side of a DualDisc is not compliant with the Compact Disc Digital Audio Specification. Accordingly, the non-DVD side of a DualDisc may not play in Pioneer DVD products.

Insertion or ejection of a DualDisc into/from Pioneer's DVD products is likely to cause scratches to the surface of the DualDisc. Scratched discs may not play in DVD products.

Blimey. Anything else?

Inappropriate disc setting in Pioneer's portable DVD players and portable/slim type computer drives may cause scratches on the disc and/or irregular playback. Please mount the disc firmly and uniformly on the drive hub so that it is completely level.

So, put the disc in very, very carefully. Anything else I should know?

A DualDisc could get stuck in and may not be able to be removed from certain Pioneer products. For car slot-in type DVD players including car navigation systems, there is a possibility of mechanical jam. For home 3, 5 or 300 multi DVD changer systems, there is a possibility of mechanical jam.

An exciting new £14.99 format which might also offer the joy of an afternoon sliding a lolly stick into a £2000 in-car navigation system, trying to tease out a wedged disc? Sony-BMG, you're spoiling us.

Hey, it's not all bad news, though:

Pioneer continues to test this new technology. At this time, except as above, the DVD content side of most DualDiscs will play in most Pioneer home DVD players and recorders, car DVD players including DVD car navigation systems, DVD/CD computer drives and Pro Audio DJ DVD players.

So, if you stick it in the right way round, you'll at least be able to play one side of the disc. Which is great news, as it sounds like the sodder will be wedged in there for all eternity.

But this is just DVD players - they're always a little uppity, aren't they? Surely Pioneer CD players will have no problems?

The non-DVD side of a DualDisc is not compliant with the Compact Disc Digital Audio Specification. Accordingly, the non-DVD side of a DualDisc may not play in Pioneer CD products.

Oh... yes, it's not a CD, is it?

Still, it's a leap forward, isn't it? I can't wait to load up my 3CD machine with a load of these things and... oh, wait...

A DualDisc could get stuck in and may not be able to be removed from Pioneer slot-in type home and car CD products, and home automatic changer type CD products.

Well, maybe I'll just use them to hang from tomato bushes and scare cats out the gardens.

A DualDisc may not be as shiny as an ordinary CD, and may not alarm animals and birds by glinting as furiously. As such, they should not be used in lieu of scarecrows.

music dual disc technology sony bmg