INVESTING FOR THE FUTURE

Well, all those jokes about Kevin Federline being only interested in getting his hands on Britney's cash have been exposed as the cruel jibes they were - Kevin is getting to work. In his own right. Admittedly, the first stage of the plan is taking gazillions of Britney's cash and pumping it into a dance school he's setting up with Michael Jackson's dad. But then, the cash will come pouring in.

It's a brilliant idea, isn't it? If Kevin is known for anything, it's "wasn't he some sort of dancer or something?", and Joe Jackson's stage teaching methods - leathering the crap out of his kids until they get the moves right - will ensure people queue up round the block.

To be fair, Joe Jackson sort-of-denies Michael's claims that he used to be beaten by him. He told Daphne Barak:

"I know exactly what happened and I know it didn't happen like that," insists Joe. "Ask [Michael's mother] KATHERINE. She whooped them more than I did. How could I do all this whooping? I'm working two jobs, 16 hours a day. Katherine was with them more than I was because she was at home with them."

However, Joe believes that this is not the appropriate time to confront Michael about such allegations. "I'm not going to dispute him, but I will eventually mention it to him because he's got that all over the world now," says Joe. "Maybe he did lie, but I'm not going to call him a liar on national TV."

... said Joe, selflessly restraining himself to merely implying that Michael was a liar on national TV.

music britney spears michael jackson joe jackson kevin federline