THEY'RE CLOSE PERSONAL SHOWBIZ FRIENDS OF MINE

It's surely a little cruel to ask Lee Ryan to write for a newspaper - even if it's only the 3am column. But always unable to spot when he's being set up to make a fool of himself ("happy to help"), Lee was delighted to be asked by the 3am Girls ("my 3am Girl pals") to cover the Dolce & Gabbana ("my good friends Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana") 20th anniversary party. The resulting piece appears to have had a great deal of work done on it to shore it up, but it still reads like a third former's 'what I done on my holidays' essay. And we're talking about the end of the school where there's a greater emphasis on crafts and sports:

Then it was time for the party, which got pretty wild. I spotted super-voluptuous model Victoria Silvstedt and Formula One bigwig Flavio Briatore swigging Dom Perignon by the magnum together.

Classy work. It's just a pity they didn't get him to draw a picture as well.

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