Monday, October 31, 2005

VOICE OF AN ANGEL MEETS LINDA BARKER

The Sun seems to think there's something odd about Charlotte Church "insisting" on taking up the DFS offer of interest-free credit on a pair of their sofas when she has seventy sqoodillion pounds in the bank. Surely the scandal, though, is that she was buying sofas at DFS at all, after their current commercials.

The "design team" team at DFS explaining what they look for in a sofa in the most stilted, charmless way is the closest thing in British advertising to somebody nailing two planks over the door and painting 'Go away' across the front window. Never mind Linda Barker's claims that she's looking for great design (it's a mass market sofa, how many design choices there? "Two seats or three? Arms at the end? Matching footstool or not?"), there's the wonderful moment where the bloke in the Second World War spiv's suit has a pause of panic when he realises he's painted himself into a verbal corner: "designer sofas for minimalist flats, right through to traditional sofas for... [oh, shit, these are all meant to be designer, aren't they? And how the hell do i describe the sort of effect these old fashioned hunks of chair gives without alienating the people we want to fork out for them? Oh, god, I wonder if I can do a retake? How long is this pause? They'll edit the pause out, won't they? It'll sound as if I itended to always end by saying - however lamely -] the cosy look."

Yes, no shame on Charlotte for taking advantage of a offer. But what are you doing in DFS? You're not in Girls Aloud, for lord's sake.


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