ROBBIE TO REMAIN A LOCAL BOY

EMI have made it clear that they're to give up trying to interest America in Robbie Williams. The company CEO Alain Levy has said that launching Williams in the leading entertainment market "isn't neccesary." In the same way, of course, that it's not reallty neccesary to have shoes, or drink water:

"In order to crack the U.S. market, we probably would need six months to a year to do it. It simply isn't in his schedule now. Right now I don't think it's on the cards. I don't think it's necessary."

In other words, America has been like those people who put little notices on their front door saying they don't want free newspapers, only the notice says "No Gurning Idiots Thank You".

In unrelated news, the American Embassy reports applications for residence visas have increased several thousand per cent in the last 24 hours.

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