ROBBIE WILLIAMS IS NOT GAY

He's not gay, of course, but can you believe that he doesn't have a really long line of hugely satisfied female lovers under his belt - or, indeed, anywhere near his belt? Those stories are, well, just not true. Yes, at the MTV Awards, Robbie was doing his Uriah Heap act (we imagine he'll be back to Sherman McCoy in a few days):

"All those newspaper stories about me sleeping with people who say that I was amazing and went for three hours... well, they aren't true.

"These people only do that so I won't sue them - and it works. I won't sue if I get a good write-up. It's as simple as that. The truth is I'm not very good at it... but I'm willing to learn."

Aw, isn't he just adorable, what with his self-deprecating put-downs? Godblesshim. Perhaps we ought to send him Dannii and a whip.

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