ROBBIE WILLIAMS IS NOT GAY

Hey, you know what would be a silly thought? Imagine in Robbie Williams was gay, right? Obviously he's not - because otherwise why would he go to the trouble of giving interviews which get headlines like Robbie: Girls go wild at my pants-down palace, eh?

Yes, it's true - although we're not sure what sense of the word "true" we're using here - Robbie's big house makes girls want to have sort of sex with him, or at least sob a little and tell him how he's such a good mate, he's like a brother or one of the girls:

"I had a few dates with this girl in America and it’s like being Batman because she didn’t know who I was - so she said. I believed her, she seemed to have a nice soul.

"Then I brought her back to my house and she looked around ’cause it is pants-down palace! It really is."

Now, we know what you're thinking - you've heard this one before, the one about him being Batman. But this is the second coming of this story, as he's spinning it out on Parkinson tonight. (Parky, of course, likes to think himself quite the probing journalist, so well done to him for getting a PR-puff that was trotted out several months ago in all the tabloids as the main bone thrown to him on the show.) Sadly, Parky doesn't ask how all these girls treating his house like pants-down palace fit in with his other on-record claim that he doesn't take women back to his LA house - maybe he was leaving us to draw our own conclusions.

music robbie williams michael parkinson