TAILGATING

Not that you'd want to accuse Madonna of desperately trying to shoehorn herself into anything that might look a little like a trend or anything, but her next video is going to be made by MTV's Pimp My Ride producers. The plot sees a clapped-out old vehicle being given an airbrush spraying to look as good as new, while experts come in to do something about its tuning and some superficial modern tat is slapped on the dashboard to try and make something fit for the scrapyard look like it's all modern and new.

We're sure there's a metaphor for something in there, but... no, can't think what it might be.

Madonna's desperate desire to turn up at anything she sees young people doing on TV means the video for the single after this one will either be her happy slapping or else turning up on Countdown and getting the conundrum right in two seconds again and again.

music madonna pimp my ride