I'M THE LEADER OF THE BANGED UP

Who knew that being thrown into a Vietnamese jail for having sex with kids might be an unpleasant experience? It seems to have come as a bit of a surprise to Gary Glitter, who doesn't like it at all:

"This place is disgusting. It smells like dead animals."

That'd probably be the dead animals, Gary. But does he at least understand what he's doing there?

"I've done nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong with having a relationship with a 12-year-old if it's consensual."

The hope of parole, there, receeding even faster than Glitter's hairline did during the 1980s.

"Life was hard when they put me here. I couldn't believe the things they made me eat - dog and fox and God knows what some of the other things were. I got dysentery and lost weight very quickly. I think I've lost at least three or four stones."

So, not all bad, then - you're in with a shout of getting into Heat's next "Skinny celebs" issues.

For Gadd, this is all the price of fame:

Glitter claimed that sex tourist perverts routinely used bribes to escape jail. He said: "It was only because I'm so famous I wasn't able to. I should have been able to hand over a few quid and nothing more would have been said about it."

Let's be fair to Gary here - surely nobody warned him when he became famous that it'd make it harder for him to bribe his way out of fucking children.

Oddest of all, Glitter is apparently putting on impromptu gigs at the prison - so the poor sods in with him not only have to endure the heat, the smells, the rats and the beatings, but they have to put up with a fallen glam rocker doing Leader of the bloody Gang. That is a cruel and unusual punishment right there.

music gary glitter