LISA SCOTT-LEE PLOTS INVASION

Well, after her humiliating and very public flop of her career (okay, it wasn't very public since as few people watched her show as bought her single), it's nice that Lisa Scott-Lee has decided to go to Europe. A bit of backpacking and Eurorailing - assuming her budget will stretch to the odd hostel - is just the thing to cheer her up, and she's got a lot of time hanging on her hands.

Oh... hang on: apparently she's thinking of launching a singing career on the continent, in the apparently mistake belief that she's not considered a laughing stock once you get to Calais.

The voice of delusion:

"When I was in Steps we were really popular overseas, and it's an area I've not looked at since going solo.

"I want to record another Guy Chambers song because he writes the best pop songs going and he believes in me."

Having already sent them Kilroy-Silk, Kinnock and Mandelson, the Europeans are going to start to think we view the continent as a vast dumping-ground for the washed-up and unloveable. Apparently, the French are already innoculating themselves against Darren Day, although they stress at this stage that is "just a precaution."

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