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SOMEONE GET CHRIS MARTIN A BELT
Oh, please tell us it's an actual accident and not an attempt to recreate himself as a latter-day PJ Proby that led to Chris Martin showing his butt off on stage.
Although, to be honest, if it was a choice between his rheummy face and his skanky ass, we'd almost plump for the ass. At least you can trust what comes spouting out of that end.
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