THAT'S WHY MUM HAS GONE TO PRONUPTIA

Clearly, either Max Clifford has got terribly confused in the handling of Kerry Katona's press affairs, or Kerry hasn't read the briefing paper. Just a week after Kerry told the Mirror how she was happily single and didn't need no man, she's now told Reveal magazine that she's getting married to some bloke she's been seeing for six weeks. A taxi driver called Mark Croft, apparently:

“We were lying in bed when I said to Kerry, ‘I could marry you’.

“She said ‘We have to get engaged and we need a ring’.”

Mark chose a diamond ring with a personal engraving. He added: “I showed her a picture of it and she said ‘It’s huge’!”

(If you have upgraded your computer, you should be hearing Sid James' laugh reverberating about your head right now.)

Let's hope that Kerry hasn't forgotten the old proverb: Marry in Heat, repent at the Priory.

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