AXL HAS FEELINGS, YOU KNOW

Axl Rose has taken just about all the bitching from Slash that he can. Rose has attempted to keep a dignified silence since the splitting of Guns N Roses - well, apart from replacing Slash with a chap wearing a KFC bargain bucket on his head, perhaps - but the filing of legal actions against him has forced him to break his silence. He had been thinking of getting a six foot clown to dance about wearing a diaper yelling "I am Slash and I smell and the smell that I have is poo and you can smell me coming because of the smell of poo", but instead - having seen what clowns charge for an hour's work - he elected to countersue:

The statement issued in the wake of the suit blasts Axl's former allies, claiming "Slash has continually made negative and malicious statements about Axl [in the press] in order to garner publicity for himself" and that both musicians have made "numerous false allegations about Axl ... [and that] Mr. Rose believes that once apprised of the true facts, the judge or jury deciding these lawsuits will rule in Axl's favor on every issue before them."

The most recent suit filed against Axl, according to the statement, "attacks [his] integrity as Slash and Duff, in a vindictive attempt to aggrandize their own stature, rewrite history through false statements, which have been repeated by the media. Their attacks on Axl stand in sharp contrast to Rose's conduct. Axl has at all times worked diligently to maintain the artistic integrity of the band by choosing with great care which properties to license Guns N' Roses songs to."

Moreover, the statement claims Slash showed up uninvited at Axl's door early one morning in October to offer a truce. "Slash came to inform Axl that: 'Duff was spineless,' '[Velvet Revolver frontman] Scott [Weiland] was a fraud,' that he 'hates [Revolver drummer] Matt Sorum' and that in this ongoing war, contest or whatever anyone wants to call it that Slash has waged against Axl for the better part of 20 years, that Axl has proven himself 'the stronger.' "

"Axl regrets having to spend time and energy on these distractions, but he has a responsibility to protect the Guns N' Roses legacy and expose the truth," Howard Weitzman, Axl's attorney, said in the statement. "Axl believes he has been left with no alternative but to respond to these lawsuits. It would have been Axl's preference to resolve disputes with Slash and Duff in private. The courthouse is not his choice of forum. However, Axl could no longer sit quietly and allow the continuing dissemination of falsehoods and half-truths by his former bandmates."

You see? That's all Axl wants - he's interested in the truth, and not all this bickering.

It's yet to be confirmed that three hours after filing, the courthouse took a call from a gentleman asking how easy it would be to withdraw legal papers if you'd decided to just photoshop someone's head onto a fat woman's body to make posters to put up in his street instead.

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