GERI FLOGS FOETUS

You have to be impressed with Geri Halliwell's ability to turn an accident (her description of her child to be, which celebrity psychologists are already predicting will help them towards buying a helicopter in 2022) into cold hard cash. She's not even given birth yet, and already managed to Aflog the poor mite to Hello.

The baby, we're told, is to be called Stella (presumably for the aphrodisiac used at its conception) if it's a girl, and Leonardo if it's a boy - like the bloke in the DaVinci code.

Although there's a chance the kid will end up called Mr Spuds:

she said the first scans showed "something that looks more like a potato than a little person. I thought that I was carrying Potato Halliwell."

So, at least we know it's going to take after its mother.

Of course, Geri soon settles down to discuss the important aspects of her pregnancy. Her weight:

"I've put on between 10 and 12lbs (each breast now weighs about three!), gaining most weight in the first three months, all around my bottom and my breasts. It's a hideous stage when you don't look pregnant, but just as if you've eaten too many pies."

We think she might have prepared a graph, showing the hour-by-hour tracking.

She revealed all the Spice Girls had been supportive, especially Victoria who had given her the ponchos she wore during her last pregnancy.

Aw, isn't that lovely? We bet they set them against tax as a charitable donation, though.

Meanwhile, in Spain, Victoria looks up from her Hello!
Victoria: Honey, did you give Geri the old baby changing mats like we said?
David: Yes, doll. Why?
Victoria: No reason

music pregnancy geri halliwell victoria beckham