IF YOU FANCY JERRY HALL, HOLD OFF ON MARTIN

We didn't think that anything would be able to restore Jerry Hall in our eyes after the Bovril adverts - a peculiar mix of an agent who couldn't advise and a spokesperson who couldn't speak - but her reason for not wanting to date younger men is inarguably right:

"Older men are better lovers. They're more experienced and know how to please you.

"Anyway, younger men make you listen to Coldplay - and there ain't no treatment for that."

Having to weigh the odd blue pill against constant plays of Yellow, there's no contest.

music jerry hall coldplay