VICTORIA BECKHAM'S STYLE POINTERS

Well, yes, we are feeling a lot more stylish today, thank you for noticing - we've been following Victoria Beckham's ten top style tips (we ignored the one that suggested we should wear her godawful, Alan Partridge blazer badge style jeans, of course, we're not mad.)

Victoria has been wearing clothes since she was born, which means she has lots of insights you or I might not be able to think of:

"Good underwear is obviously a real wardrobe staple but I think you're either a girl who always wears matching bra and knickers or you're not.

You see? I bet you thought there were girls who always wore matching underwear and didn't wear matching underwear all at the same time, didn't you?

And are you thinking of sloping off to Peacocks? Don't, you fashion nonce. Victoria says "shop the world":

Picking up clothes from different countries helps put an individual stamp on your style.

We're off to Guyana to refill our sock drawer right away.

But what if you're not feeling fabulous? Even Victoria has bloaty days - perhaps she's had the Ryvita with the fruit in, or just couldn't make it to the washroom in time. What then, Victoria?

WHEN you're having a bloated day, always have some emergency figure flatterers.

Last season I invested in some of Stella McCartney's jumper dresses which are a godsend for when you're not feeling particularly good about yourself.

You just pull one on and they make you look sexy.

They'll keep you going until Doctor Moreau can book you in for some emergency sucking and tucking.

Victoria gives us a clue about just how bloated she sometimes feels, by the way, when she suggests we buy our jumpers in Gap Kids.

Just stick to the rules, kids, stick to the rules:

IT'S great to make a statement now and again but try to stick to a few classic guidelines. If you're revealing lots of cleavage, you should have your legs hidden. Or if you want to show some leg, wear a jumper dress on top. Don't let it all hang out. It's much sexier to leave a little to the imagination.

Taking our cue from Victoria, we've chosen to abandon trousers today, but to balance that we're wearing a kids parka from Tesco.

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