THAT'S WHAT KATIE HOLMES NEEDS: SOME SORT OF WHACKY OBSESSION

If you'd just been praised by your husband for giving birth in a way dictated by a crotchety old sci-fi writer and his three-wheeled cultists, the last thing you'd probably want would be an unnaturally shaped woman turning up offering to help you "get your figure back."

Victoria Beckham has turned up to "help" Katie Holmes, claims Reveal.

Of course, it'll be handy having Beckham on hand to help with the daughter, too - whenever baby Suri cries for a feed, Victoria can explain, patiently, how it'll be much better for her chances in future if she just sucks on a dry breadstick instead.

Reveal doesn't explain how Beckham is able to bring this get-unhealthy-looking regime despite the women being in different continents.

music katie holmes victoria beckham