WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE PUPPIES?

Of course, when you're a multi-millionaire and fall out with your wife, there's at least the luxury of several other homes from which to choose. The News of the World reckons that Paul McCartney and Heather Mills have been spending time apart under two of their different roofs following "the barney to end all barneys."

How serious is the falling-out? A friend is on hand:

"Things are so strained that when it was time for little Beatrice and Olly the family dog to go and see Paul at the farm on Friday someone else drove them there. Heather couldn't bring herself to go.

We're not quite sure how people tell its time for a dog to go visiting. Perhaps it had a leash in his mouth and a winsome look?

"We're all hoping they can patch things up but it looks in a bad way. Who knows what will happen?"

Nobody does, of course, which allows the NOTW to fill the gap with illustrated maps showing the distance between the farm where Paul is and the flat that Heather is in, and acres of speculation, none of which is based on anything more solid than, say, suggesting Paul will find comfort in the arms of Yoko Ono.

music paul mccartney heather mills the beatles